Here are handpicked funny horse sayings:
- “Why the long face? – Every bartender to a horse, probably.”
- “You know you’re a horse person when you spend more money on your horse than yourself.”
- “I don’t fall off my horse; I do random gravity checks.”
- “If you want a stable friendship, get a horse.”
- “In my next life, I want to come back as my horse. He has a better life than I do!”
- “Horses are God’s way of apologizing for every disappointing man in your life.”
- All horses deserve, at least once in their lives, to be loved by a little girl.
- “Horse logic: The less you want your horse to get dirty, the more likely he is to roll in mud.”
- Attributed to Lady Thornicroft after the hunt … when a saboteur asked
her why the horse was so hot and sweated up; “If I had you between
my legs for two and a half hours you dear sir, you would be equally
as hot and sweaty.” - “Riding a horse is not a gentle hobby, to be picked up and laid down like a game of solitaire. It is a grand passion.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson (with a humorous twist because, as any horse lover knows, it can be quite an addiction!)
- One man’s wrong lead is another man’s counter- canter.
– S.D. Price - Coffee, Chocolate, Cowboys… some things are just better rich.
– Original source unknown - “A horse doesn’t care how much you know until it knows how much you care. Show him you care, and he’ll move mountains; ignore him, and he might just sit on your car.”
- Why do we call riding on a horse ‘equestrianism’? Because “staying on a big powerful animal that could kill you if it wanted to” wouldn’t fit on the trophy.
- You cannot train a horse with shouts and expect it to obey a whisper.
– Dagobert D. Runes - “You can tell a gelding, you can ask a stallion, but you must discuss it with a mare!”
- Every time you ride, your either teaching or un-teaching your horse.
– Gordon Wright - If anybody expects to calm a horse down by tiring him out with riding swiftly and far, his supposition is the reverse of the truth.
– Xenophon - Love means attention, which means looking after the things we love. We call this stable management.
– George H. Morris, The American Jumping Style - What the colt learns in youth he continues in old age.
– French Proverb - One reason why birds and horses are happy is because they are not trying to impress other birds and horses.
– Dale Carnegie, How To Win Friends and Influence People - If you are a rider, the number one thing to do is … marry money!
– Anonymous - There are only two emotions that belong in the saddle; one is a sense
of humor and the other is patience. – John Lyons - Horse… If God made anything more beautiful he kept it for himself!
- Care, and not fine stables, makes a good horse.
– Danish Proverb - How to ride a horse:
Step One – Mount the horse.
Step Two – Stay mounted … - If a horse stands on you its because your in the way.
- There on the tips of fair fresh flowers feedeth he; How joyous is his neigh, there in the midst of sacred pollen hidden all hidden he; how joyous is his neigh.
– Navajo Song - Horses are the dolphins of the plains, the spirits of the wind; yet we sit astride them for the sake of being well-groomed, whereas they could have all the desire in the world to bolt, but instead, they adjust their speed and grace, only to please us, never to displease.
– Lauren Salerno - I live in a house but my home is in the stable
- Words are as beautiful as wild horses, and sometimes as difficult to corral.
– Ted Berkman, The Christian Science Monitor - Nothing moves me more than when on the way to fetching in my mare in the morning than the sound of her neighing to me as I open the gate.
- A good rider can hear his horse speak to him. A great rider can hear his horse whisper. But a bad rider won’t hear his horse even if it screams at him!
- Who needs men when you have a horse?..oh..wait..someone’s gotta do the paying!
- Life is like a wild horse. You ride it or it rides you.
- Boyfriends come and go, but horses are forever.
- The only constant thing in life is change, and things can change rapidly when you’re dealing with horses.
- When your horse bolts for 10 minutes flat, you know to get off and give up. The question is, how?
– Annarose Robinson - Love is.. paying a £500 vet bill for a horse worth £50.
- I’m in a transitional relationship with my saddle!
- When you fall of your horse, usually what’s most hurt is your pride.
- Don’t look at a horse as an animal, look as if the horse is a real soul. Because a horse can tell the difference.
- You never get the pleasure of owning a horse…
- I whisper to my horse, but he never listens!
- Some are slaves on the ground but are free on a horse.
- You can love horse and ride it and a horse can love you and squash you.
- Grooming: the process by which the dirt and hair on the horse is transferred to the groom.
- You can lead your horse to water, but you can’t stop him pulling you away!!!
- My horse is very quick. Sometimes he’s so quick he leaves me behind.
- A western horse has guts and commitment, an english horse has grace and elegance, but my horse has it all!
- My horse is security conscience… he always likes to bolt the stable door when I leave.
- The hardest thing about learning to ride is the ground!
- The Joy of horses is not the riding, jumping, racing, showing, or grooming, but of owning despite becoming poor putting your vet’s kids through college.
- When in doubt, leave one stride out!
- Been There… Jumped That!
- A polo pony is like a motorbike with a mind of its own weighing half a ton.
- Whinnying is everything.
- Leave a horse’s gate unfastened and he’ll be knocking on your window in the night.
- Wild oats aren’t meant for sowing – but they make a nice trail snack.
- Ask not what your horse can do for you – Ask what you can do for your horse.
- May the horse be with you.
- Riding a horse is like therapy with a little more hair and a lot more hay!
- A dog may be man’s best friend…But the horse wrote history.
- Do not underestimate a horse’s pride, or he will dent yours.
- Never drink down-stream from your horse!
- Be wary of the horse with a sense of humor.
– Pam Brown - Riding a Shire is like a moving sofa!!!
- And on the seventh day … god went riding!
- Jumping is just dressage with speed bumps!
- Life is short, hug your horse!
- Jumping: It’s just doing flat-work in the air.
- Horse sense – something that horses have that stops them betting on humans.
- Riding is not a sport, it is a passion. If you do not share the passion, you do not know the sport, and therefore are wasting your time.
- There is nothing like a rattling ride for curing melancholy!
– Pared - Whoever said that money cannot buy happiness didn’t know where to buy a horse.
- A horse is like a violin, first it must be tuned, and when tuned it must be accurately played.
- Bread may feed my body, but my horse feeds my soul.
– Arabian Poet
What is your favorite cute or funny horse saying? Let us know in the comments!
Cheers, Kacey
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